JACK RAMP’S UNFORTUNATE CABARET

Conceived and Written by Stephen Brown

BIO

Stephen has been working on the scripted musical play Jack Ramp’s Unfortunate Cabaret for over ten years.

As an actor he was trained at the American Conservatory Theater and in the Meisner Technique at the Acting Studio under James Price where he wrote incidental music for the Rimers of Eldridge among other productions.

For over twelve years he has been a member of the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus where he has been involved in over twenty-five productions. He also has sung back-up for performers such as Alan Cumming, Hugh Jackman and the late Chita Rivera in venues from Madison Square Garden to Carnegie Hall and Town Hall.

Other highlights from Stephen’s peripatetic past include fronting a successful rock band as lead singer and song writer, and creating an ahead-of-its time dining concept, The Pearl Room, in Old Tribeca.

SYNOPSIS

Sequins. Desperation. A cast of hopefuls. An elusive diva.

And one man who should never touch a microphone.

Host Jack Ramp presents a cabaret show of new talent. Jack is irreverent, acerbic, egomaniacal and musically challenged. Nevertheless, he is convinced he is God’s gift to show business and is highly resentful of his world-famous sister Patti Peters. One by one the hopeful singers—drawn to this low-budget affair by the promise of performing for Patti—take the stage to Jack’s withering commentary. We hear an opera singer, a cowboy, a meth-head and more. To the great surprise of Jack and everyone else, Patti finally arrives, fresh from her latest charity event, to wow everyone with her signature number. Inspired to believe in himself despite constantly being kicked down, Jack leads the company in a rousing finale celebrating his, and our, perseverance. Surrounded by talent, he accepts his place and his winning character shines through.

The tone of the piece is gay, campy, fun, filthy and in your face. NSFW. Check your sensibilities (and your taste) at the door.

CHARACTERS

Characters should be selected for their musical and comic talent, regardless of age, gender, background, ethnicity, etc. Characters may be doubled.

JACK RAMP: “approaching his mid-to early late forties.” Self-importance personified. Not remotely as talented as he believes. Vocal style: is it even singing?

SANDY STREET: Jack’s long suffering musical director (and lover?), middle aged. Strong pianist and the production accompanist for the piece.

CESARE CRESCENDO: A tuxedoed opera singer. Classically trained with comic timing.

BILLY JOE JIM BOB: An adoring acolyte of Jack’s, recently arrived from a meth lab. Sings in a high rock belt.

DUSTY TRAILS: Scantily clad cowboy hunk. Accompanies himself on guitar. Vocal style: Cowboy Western.

PENNY PEACOCK: The world’s best Christian, and long-time nemesis to Jack. Her holier-than-thou hair hides a murderous secret. Drag performer. Strong comedic singer.

COWARDLY LION: Direct from that jaundiced brick road. Full costume and makeup. Sings brilliantly à la Bert Lahr AND Freddie Mercury.

IL MUCHACHO: An audience plant who takes exception to Jack’s cultural appropriation and ends up on stage. Hispanic. Strong, authentic singer in Spanish and English.

HARRY HERSHEY: Bright-eyed and earnest. Reeks of church and straight arrows. Easily lured down the garden path. Strong pop singer.

PATTI PETERS: Jack’s world-famous sister, a show biz icon and true diva. Glamorous and she knows it. She is the real deal. Top-tier torch song delivery.

DONNA SUMMER: She arrives from heaven—no one is going to mangle her hits. Strong disco voice.

JACK’S CONSCIENCE: Teaches Jack that his time is here, success is yours. You don’t have to be a doormat/casting couch.

Other characters portrayed by the ensemble:

Religious figures in “Like a Prayer” (Nun, Cardinal, Buddha, Hassid, Burka Clad Woman, Priest)

Wizard of Oz cast in “Bohemian Rhapsody” (Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Man, Wizard, The Yellow Brick Road, The House, The Tornado)

SCENES

The play takes place on the stage of a small theater over the course of an evening.

The set reflects a typical cabaret stage: piano, black curtain, playing area in the front. Mic stands. Lighting effects (spot, twinkles, starry background, colored wash).

Video projections are used

PRODUCTION HISTORY

Earlier versions of Jack Ramp’s Unfortunate Cabaret have had productions in NYC.

April 2025: Triad Theater

April 2024: Triad Theater

MUSIC

>> Click for music samples from Jack Ramp’s Unfortunate Cabaret.